“I Have Loved You”

I was sick and getting sicker.   On May 22, 2015, it culminated in a stroke.   Thankfully, my husband was home.   It could’ve been that he was at the office that day, but I wanted to go to the emergency room.   I got out of the shower, and then I had the stroke.

Being at the hospital seven days, there was plenty of opportunity to do a thoughtful contemplation.  I really wondered what was going on.   I didn’t hear the Lord.  I wondered why I didn’t hear the Lord.   Day after day in the hospital, I lay and I didn’t hear the Lord.

But His Holy Spirit in me, rose up and I prayed in the Spirit.   Now, that was something!   I did have the Holy Spirit and He prayed through me.   It was an awesome moment, awesome in that I could barely speak.   When you have a stroke, you don’t talk.   My natural language, though I could think straight, was not coming out.   Yet, I could pray in tongues.     This was marvelous to me.

The speech did not affect, for the most part, my singing.   I came home and started to play the piano and sing, a little rough at first.

But I was back in the hospital within a week, not a stroke, but the other incident that led me into the stroke, a condition known as ulcerative colitis.    They once again told me, because I have had this before, that I would have to have my large intestines taken out.  That didn’t happen.  I finally discovered what was the problem.   We live in a chemical world, and that is one reason so many people have gastrointestinal problems!    I had unknowingly chewed gum ever day that includes sorbitol, a known irritant to gastrointestinal problems.   If they would feed us food, we might do better medically!

My prognosis was to see if medicines could alleviate my condition.   After six days in the hospital, I was home with a ton of medicine to take.

I sang to the Lord and read portions of Scripture.  Finally, I heard from Him.  I was about to close the piano and go.   But I heard the Lord Jesus Christ saying to write a song.

“This is my song to you.  And you will sing it before crowds of people.  Yet I will come to you and sing it personally.  This is my song to you.”

I sat down and immediately wrote,  “I have loved you.  I have loved you with an everlasting love.”   Ah, sweetness!   God was speaking His love for me!  “With an everlasting love”!

A month later of my last hospital visit, on July 5th, 2015, I was back to lead worship at church.  A little hesitant, but they prayed for me and I made it through.

And it amazed people that I could lead worship at our annual conference in July 24-26.   If you got into a real lengthy discussion with me, I was a little less than coherent, but that was not the point.  At the end of the conference, I played my song, “I Have Loved You”.

God allowed this.   He did it to prove that the devil is a liar.   I was supposed to have started full-time as music minister in the beginning of June.   I couldn’t.   But I was determined to play because that is my calling.  I started a little late … but with God on time!  God was just going to show what He could do with me.   To God be the glory!

God allowed this.   God used this to show me how much my husband loved me.    He really does!   He struggled almost to the point of exhaustion through my weeks of illness, visiting me at the hospital, helping me with my medication.   And with a job to boot!

The love of Christ was extended to me.   My husband and all my children were there.  My sister and her clan came in from California.  My church was there, some ministers of the Lord, and even some people I didn’t see often were there.

“God allowed this,”  a prophet of God told me.   “You have not cursed God.”  And I hadn’t.

I Have Loved You

I have loved you; I have loved you
With an everlasting love
I have loved you; I have loved you
With an everlasting love

I have saved you; I have saved you
With an everlasting love
I have saved you; I have saved you
With an everlasting love

Who can separate us from the love of Christ!
Who can keep us apart?
Who can separate us from the love of Christ!
Yes, you have stolen my heart!

I have loved you; I have loved you
With an everlasting love
I have loved you; I have loved you
With an everlasting love

The breadth, length, height and depth beyond conception
Of the love lavished on us
To know the love of Christ that exceeds perception,
His love so boundless! His love so boundless!
His love so boundless!

I have loved you; I have loved you
With an everlasting love
I have loved you; I have loved you
With an everlasting love

Many waters cannot quench love,
Neither floods drown it, too.
Christ gave Himself up, up for love,
A fragrant offering, a sacrifice … for you.

And I love you! And I love you! And I love you! And I love you!

7/10/15 (C) HIM.CAVenable

Me2

 

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